TGIF

TGIF and my work week begins!  This week that is a good thing!  Sometimes, when things have been rough, one of the best things I can do is throw myself into work.  And a rough week it has been.  You see, I have been a bit discombobulated.  With all that Andrew has pulled and being ill prepared for how it would affect me, I have gotten down this past week.  I found it hard to stay awake and do my daily errands.  I get what I call "sleeping sickness".  When I was about 5 years old, I believed that if I were to get bit by a rabbit, I would get the sleeping sickness.  If you were unlucky enough to get this disease, you would sleep for at least 20 years.  Nothing can wake you up.  Kind of like Rip Van Winkle.  THAT is what I have had this week.  Rabbit sickness.  And not too far behind rabbit sickness comes depression.  TGIF.

So far, I have signed up for two extra days to work next week and made two people very happy.  And earlier, my boss sent me an e-mail that said "come see me when you have a second".  These e-mails scare the shit out of me.  I can't fiqure out what I have done, but just sure I have screwed up somewhere.  Turns out it was no such thing, just a quick chat of things to come. 

I actually look forward to work this week, I know it will help me shake the rabbit sickness.  When you get up every morning, shower, and get ready to face the day, it sure beats getting up and staying in your pj's all day, watching TV, and trying to write on the computer.

I am just now able to begin looking back and see how I let dealing with Andrew throw me for a loop with all the stupidity he pulled.  I just wasn't prepared.  He was doing so well.  I had let myself feel a false sense of security.  I did not fathom there would be yet another stumble, another fall.  Somehow I thought he was on the path to freedom from drugs and alcohol.  Little did I remember he will have this ongoing battle the rest of his life.  And he is far from strong enough to have it under some faxcimile of control.  No matter how well things may go in his future, I shall always have in my mind that Andrew can stumble at anytime.  I won't make that mistake twice.  I abhor what drugs and alcohol do to relationships.  It is just not the same, never will be.  It is sad.